It's been nearly 8 months without you. You know.. it's hard to wake up every morning with a smile when one of the people who gave you a reason to smile was gone. I hate having to move on with my life facing the fact you're gone. It's been nearly 8 months and I just cant face it.. I just miss you so much. Sometimes I just wish my life was taken instead of yours, maybe that way you would've got the years you deserve. It's your birthday in 3 hours, 30 minutes.. Tomorrow the family will be visiting you and later on camping in your backyard. I'm scared.. I'm scared that maybe I wont be able to handle tomorrow. I don't want to pour into tears, I want to hold them back and stay strong for myself... and especially for the family. Well, ever since you left.. the family hasn't been the same... I don't think it ever will be. You were the heart of the family honestly. The familys holding everything back, trying to stay strong.. I'm lucky enough to have a person in my life who wipes my tears away. There's this guy.. He's the first and foremost best thing that has ever happened to me. He's the reason I'm even standing... if it wasn't for him I don't know where I'd be in my life right now. Yeah I know I'm only 14 years of age but honestly... I've never felt so happy before. He makes me happy.. he really does. He's the reason I believe that in the end.. everything will be okay. He's given me the strength to avoid the pointless drama and keep my head up high. I don't ever think I could repay him for making a great impact to my life. Despite the fact I'm only 14 years of age, I love him.. and if people want to think that loving at this age is all a joke then so be it, because I don't think being happy and getting a taste of being cared for is a joke.
Yours truly,
antoinette.
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